'Bohemian Rhapsody' Music Video: The Director's Cut
Editor's Note: This video is probably NOT SAFE FOR WORK (unless you work in an awesome place)!
Lady Gaga's new single, "Marry the Night," comes with a 14-minute video. We would recommend watching the entire thing, but in case you can't spare that much time (don't you have work to do???) , here are some highlights:
-- The video begins with a seven-and-a-half-minute prelude in which a brunette Gaga is wheeled down a corridor on a gurney by nurses with mint caps. (The one on the right has a great ass. BAM!) Is she crazy? Is she a big fat liar? Um, quantum physics??? WAT IS HAPPENING??? -- Somebody wants to be an ACTOR! -- What is this, "BLACK SWAN"?????? -- CHEERIOS!!!!!!!!!1! -- BEDAZZLER!!!!!!!!1 -- It's weird that she gets into a car the EXACT SAME WAY I DO!?? -- EXPLOSIONS! (Don't look if you're a cool guy.) -- From "Black Swan" to "Fame"????? -- Blue lipstick? Ichiban product placement??? -- MONTAGE! -- O noez! She fell down the stairs! -- LOL HER HAT IS TOO BIG AND SHE CAN'T GET IN THE CAR #HATPEOPLEPROBLEMS -- Random CGI flames??? I wonder if these represent how so much time has passed since I started the video that the world has ended and we're all in hell?
OVERALL RATING: 10 BEDAZZLED DISCO STICKS OUT OF 10 BEDAZZLED DISCO STICKS!
Behold Katy Perry's new video for "The One That Got Away," the sixth single taken from her never-ending "Teenage Dream" album.
She spends about half of the video made-up to look like an old woman and the other half looking exactly like that chick from "New Girl."
Some other highlights:
-- Crying while not wearing pants in a closet? (STORY OF MY LIFE!!!) -- Her boyfriend, Diego Luna, sketches a really ugly portrait of her? -- I am reminded of both "The Notebook" and the dream sequence from "Romy and Michele's High School Reunion" where they are bitter old women??? -- Um, Johnny Cash is playing??? -- Katy, Diego didn't "leave you to love another." He died. That's kind of a big difference????????
In summation: ???????????????????????????
Patrice Wilson, the mastermind behind Rebecca Black's Friday, returns with his new protégé, Nicole Westbrook, and her holiday hit Thanksgiving. Doesn't sound much different than Friday you say? Without the charm you say? Well, just let me judge for myself.
You may remember rapper Ludacris' 2001 hit, "Area Codes" in which he sings about having a number of...um...lady friends. Well here is a map that lays out exactly where all of those infamous locations are.
WARNING: The music video has a bit of naughty language in it.