The "Jurassic Park" Promotional Newsletter

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Here's a really amazing newsletter for some eccentric billionaire's dinosaur theme park that will be totally safe, thanks to the technical prowess of his morbidly obese son.

I really don't see "Jurassic Park" becoming more popular than Disney World, unless the park gets some good reviews from a few plucky little scientists, botanists and chaoticians. Without that, this park is nothing more than a magnificent game preserve of incredibly dangerous animals!

Good luck with your park, Dr. Hammond!

C'mon Kid! Take The Bait...

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Get some Reese's Pieces. That'll draw him out. -Jurassic Park

Dinosaurs Were Some Sick F**ks

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Some Sexual Habits You Just Can't Learn From Studying The Fossils. Dark..Disturbing..Disgusting Habits! -Laura Dern, Sam Neill

U Ok?

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you guys ok?...looks like a bit of an accident...you got a cell phone?...we can call roadside assistance....you wouldn't happen to have an umbrella would you?...i'm talkin about a big ASS umbrella!...have you seen a goat? -Jurassic Park

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