I've seen pooping you people wouldn't believe -Jeff Goldblum

Life uhhhhhhhhhh finds a way -Jeff Goldblum

DATES why do all of mine end like this? -Jeff Goldblum

Don't let the posh digs fool you He is still watching you poop -Jeff Goldblum

Are You Sure They Are All Females Because Last Time I Checked Females Don't Have Those. -Jurassic Park

Being badass Is what I do (Jeff Goldblum)

WHAT'S THE MATTER, IS MY FLY UNDONE? (Jeff Goldblum)