-Danny Trejo, Mike Tyson

I have to leave, QVC needs me. -Danny Trejo

Aaaaay Mang! Jou neeeed some Cutleries? -Danny Trejo

WHY? Cuz' every girl's crazy for a sharp dressed man. Duh. -Danny Trejo

Guns for show. Knives for a pro. -Danny Trejo

PUT A BIRD ON IT! -Danny Trejo

Machete Says: Who Needs Violence When You Have Zoloft -Danny Trejo