I did not have trouble committing... Adultery.

(Ashton Kutcher)

Mom, I'm moving out.

(Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher)

Soon Demi, half of all this will be yours

(Ashton Kutcher)

You now have crabs. -Ashton Kutcher, Natalie Portman

UTTERLY RIDICULOUS you're doing it right -Ashton Kutcher, James Franco

Sorry, Ashton Charlie Sheen already punk'd them. -Ashton Kutcher