Mr. Salt, don't get cheeky with me!
One of these days your kids need to learn to cut their own food. Woof.
Some people LOVE tea. Like really really LOVE it.
What kind of pie would you like? Sorry, we only have one kind of pie. But I think you'll like it, it's super cute.
I'll take the one with giant holes. I like lots of salt!
I don't endorse salt-bombing your food, but if you must, these would be particularly appropriate.
Some people don't like their food touching their other food, I can respect that.