Whales have feelings too. Don't stifle them.
There are mornings when it's just too hard to make breakfast or even stand upright. Just lay down here, it'll be okay.
Have you got seriously attractive friends? No? Pets? Let's stick with pets. You can print them on pillows! Not so lonely now are you?
You could do some serious whip-style damage with the stuffed light saber, go for that one first!
I don't think your popcorn pillow will mind if you accidentally spill a little popcorn on it while you watch movies on the couch.