Well aren't you the most dapper aquatic mammal I've ever seen?
As a refined individual you prefer the truly luxurious things in life: crustless sandwiches and well-groomed facial hair. No one can blame you for having your priorities in order.
Now when you send a letter, a little Frenchman can deliver the news.
Though a mustache doesn't seem the most hygenic tool for washing your hands, trust me on this one.
These words rhyme, I think I'll crochet something! BAM! A pistachio is born!
At least it's your own mustache and not someone else's.