Set humor to ludicrous speed!

You've got it right there, egg salad and crisp lettuce are indeed the key to my sandwich happiness. Bonus points for a little horseradish mixed in and a slice of provolone. I've got a drool cleanup on aisle keyboard!

My home is only accessible by the magic of unicorn power!

Having a full bundle of keys makes you feel important, like you have a lot of responsibilities. So you need a little padding? No shame!

I like the age-old motif of hearts and keys. It never goes out of style and always seems so genuine and proper. I also like gags involving swallowing a key like in "Arrested Development" so with these cupcakes I'm all set.

Available at: Modcloth http://www.modcloth.com/store/ModCloth/Womens/Accessories/Pins+Keychains/Hello+Noms+Key+Cap ($6)