I guess once you're seven it's not so scary for a tiny mustachioed plumber to come bursting out of your birthday cake anymore. Right, Stan?
To all my American readers, have a fantastic 4th! I hope you eat lots of hot dogs and drink lots of beers (Responsibly! No driving!), and ooh and aaaaahh at the pretty pretty fireworks. Crank up some jock rock, break out the jello mold and celebrate this ridiculous and awesome country!