You'll still have to change its batteries eventually. Can you handle that?
Available at: Perpetual Kid http://www.perpetualkid.com/giant-ice-cream-cone-lamp.aspx ($40) Via: Incredible Things http://www.incrediblethings.com/home/giant-ice-cream-cone-lamp/
When you really really really need a smoke, sharpen one of these babies up instead and write about it.
Repeat after me: I will not eat the soaps, I will not eat the soaps, I will not eat the soaps!
Gents, do you miss kissing your ladyfriend who refuses to let your boar-bristle toothbrush of a mustache near her delicate skin? Solutions all up in this place!
Gaze upon the most realistic fake cupcakes ever! That fake cherry is just BEGGING me to try and eat it!
Here's one goldfish in a bowl that NO ONE can call animal cruelty on.