You don't need a doctorate to look like the smartest person your friends have ever met, you just need a really cool lamp.
Do you chew on your pens and mangle them? It won't look quite as odd if it looks like you're chewing on actual candy.
All you cook is marshmallows, fruit and pretzels but I don't mind.
And when you have nothing to list, you can make homemade graph paper!