Old Man Yells at Cloud.
This looks like the kind of thing you don't want the dog to bring back.
Anything you can do... I can turn into the stuff of nightmares?
It's Copyright Infringement Man!
The story itself is pretty WTF, but I don't remember it being quite this WTF.
"Oh, Lionel Richie. Ours is a love that can never be."
Sounds like the scariest book ever written.