I suggest a new strategy, tiny chess-playing dude. Let the dragon win.
"Oh, Lionel Richie. Ours is a love that can never be."
"Oh what a world, what a world!"
Oh, the days when a man had to make his own pr0n.
My money's on death. By snu snu!
The dragon looks more flirty than frightening. "Hey. I notice you hang out in swamps. I hang out in swamps too."
Truly the face of savage vengeance.