No, I don't really speak Chinese. I invite you to tell me to 太空所有的星球塞盡我的屁股 below.
Pervy fanboys who can't tell the difference between me and the characters I portray are to step into that room over there marked "car crusher."
This Captain "Mal" Reynolds mini-plush is coming this fall. Fans prepare for Browncoat snuggles.
(Star Trek, Torchwood, Firefly)