Speak softly... And carry a huge shotgun!

(Fake Theodore Roosevelt)

Breaking News - Eye witness says: "There was ketchup everywhere!"

THE CHURCH Has ways to make you believe

I told them protesters were full of candy!

(Egyptian riots)

Breaking News - New British non-smoking rules start today.

BILL OF RIGHTS Not originally intended as a conduit for hatred and violence.

(Thomas Jefferson)

It's okay guys I got this

(Egyptian riots)