The former Governor of Michigan who recently gave a... let's say enthusiastic speech at the Democratic National Convention was a contestant on The Dating Game in 1978.

(Jennifer Granholm)

the babies are the right height

(Mitt Romney)

Yes, this is a real advertisement for Michigan Representative Pete Hoekstra that really aired during the Super Bowl in Michigan.

... Yep, and that's a real Chinese-American actress who agreed to speak in an ungrammatical ching-chong accent while riding a bicycle with a straw hat. What year is this? Is there a new Charlie Chan movie coming out or something?

Well, what are they waiting for? Summon the Necomancer and reanimate the victor!

Hey! Has anyone seen my "Count Michigan and Florida" button? I seem to have misplaced it. Why is everyone looking at me and snickering?