(Barack Obama, Chris Christie)

(Barack Obama, Chris Christie)

SHIP HAPPENS!

Goddammit! Get me that Wonka guy on the phone. NOW! The Gloop kid plugged the pipe again.

(Brisbane floods)

NASCAR THE SEASON IS JUST TOO LONG

(Chicago snowstorm)

I said, "don't everyone rush to port at one time to see the dolphins." But noooo. . .no one listens to me, I'm just the Captain.

(A sinking ship)