I pledge allegiance to the Corporatocracy of the United States of America and to the special interests for which they stand. On nation, deep in debt, Huperinflating, with deregulation and bailouts for banks.

My fellow Americans, tonight I am pleased to announce the creation of our 51st state

(Stephen Harper and Barack Obama)

after a full day of pepper-spraying

Via @spytap

There.Don't have to look at him anymore.

(Michelle Obama)

Want to know how America counts votes in the presidential election? Think hard now, maybe you actually don't. Ignorance feels better, really. Last chance!

... OK.

The hand signal! Sweet baby Jesus... It's time to ATTACK...