ATTENTION COMPENSATORS your dream vehicle has arrived.
Never make another sandwich! Thanks to the marvels of modern technology the new IBM Sandwich Maker 3000 virtually eliminates sandwich preparation time!
For centuries, scientists have dedicated their entire careers to finding out where stupid comes from.
"Well, maybe if someone wasn't such a hipster Luddite, we could listen to music made after 1975?"
Hey Honey, I think there's something wrong with the microwave.