I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.

So he's all "Check this thing out, it's a duck-billed aquatic mammal that lays eggs. Imma call it a platypus." and I'm like "Dad, are you drunk" But he made the thing anyway.

When Joseph fell asleep, Daniel was the first one to whip out the sharpies.

Alcoholism: Fun for the whole family.

Little Bobby's Drunk Again