So he's all "Check this thing out, it's a duck-billed aquatic mammal that lays eggs. Imma call it a platypus." and I'm like "Dad, are you drunk" But he made the thing anyway.
Grandpa had a tendency to ramble when he had a few.
When I was your age, our video game controllers were hard wired to the console. And Mario had to walk uphill both ways to the castle.
OMG! SHUT UP!
A mummy, a witch and a zombie walk into a bar . . .
Oh great. Looks like Grim Reaper has been into the spirits again!
I'm not an alcoholic, alcoholics go to meetings. I'm a drunk, we go to parties.
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY 6 PACK OF BUD? I SHINK DA DOG ATE IT! HIC!