This is for your own safety, son. Daddy's had beans for dinner, again.
EVERY SO OFTEN mommy takes my balls out of her purse and lets me hold them so I can remember what it used to be like.
WHAT HAPPENED TO MY 6 PACK OF BUD? I SHINK DA DOG ATE IT! HIC!
Uh oh, better be quiet. Dad will kill me if he see's me out here without my space suit.