Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline... if you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are borderline, it doesn't matter which number you press - no one will answer.

I told you I'm not a lesbian, Cynthia. So please stop dressing up as a man and asking me for kiss.

Honest Abe Lincoln dispenses justice on a ruffian for the crime of being Irish on a Sunday.

Get that damnable flame out of my face, lest you ignite my magnificent beard.

I cannae give her anymore captain. She's at half past eleven as it is!

Fight the English God said... It will be fun He said...

And one day, my people, this site will hold one of the wonders of the world. It will be called WAL-MART