I hate visiting the in-laws! I realize not everyone has indoor plumbing, but no outhouse? Barbaric!
Oh Ye of little faith!
IT'S NOT A TUBER
For the love of all things holy, woman. Call the rescue squad!!! I'm sorry, dear. I can't hear you. I'm in the kitchen, making you a sandwich.
Verily, my excrement doth have no discernible odor.